.........because of someone

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what does this...
....spell....
...hummmm...

i had mentioned.... yesterday.. that i might talk about the Mother Goddess.. i gerplunked some debunk about Father God & capable... you thought you were reading about my header musings... but i was beginning to condition your mind to help you understand dreams... the dream state... i did a verbal conscious spill... i have a female mind so i moved you back and forth between the two hemispheres.... the right side of the brain and the left side... on purpose... to stimulate and provoke..

a fully developed male mind will have trouble reading yesterdays post... only because they like to stay in one side of the brain... do the work they have to do... finish it and move to the other side... a good male mind is objective (goal) driven.. and much different from a female mind... the female mind is designed to... we will learn this one down the blogg some... maybe tomorrow.. we will see...

... here is a female mind... male mind difference.. i will begin to teach you them as we move along in the blogg.. step at a time.. here is the first step..

the male mind has a single speech centre.. and is capable of up to 10.000 words a day.... some males will produce as little as 1,000 words a day...

the female mind has multiple speech centres.. and is capable of up to 60,000 words a day... ... that's me.. lots to say.. smile..

when i was very young... my mother and father decided to take up skiing... back then it was boards of wood with cable bindings... looking for just the right moment to break one of your bones... it was my mothers and fathers love of the rocky mountains of canada that took us to a steep mountain ski hill in banff alberta called norquay.. i am not sure if it still exists... none the less.. i was 6 or 7 and as dedicated as my mother & father to learning the master of this activity...

somehow.. while standing on my skis.. they decided it was time to learn my first bone break teach... smile... back on my wrist i fell... conscious of the extreme pain that now hampered my joy in this activity expression.. i was down to the count.. but as it is my practice.. i did my best to hide the pain..

that evening as i lay in bed.. the pain became loud.. and tears became mainstream.. with these symbols a signal.. my father decided it best to take me into the small hospital near by.. in a town called canmore... there i was attended to.. and introduced once again to my gift of mystical understandings....

back then.. canada did not have a public health care system.. hospitals where a measure of last resort.. they cost big bucks.. so they were very attentive to the deliver... in a very personal way... as i was taken into the room where i was to be attended to.. i jammed.. i was caught between two worlds... i was moving through the portal of re step... commonly known as deja-vu... the illusion of having already experienced something actually being experienced for the first time...

child bewildered i was... the illusion was the more real... the real was more the illusion... i try ed my best to fight my way out... but each moment included the steps i had already taken in my dream.. yet i was to young to understand the distortion.. fight as i could.. every moment in movement was an exact retrace... just how could this be... scared to death now.. i lost sight of any pain i had in my wrist... i found myself both in "awe".. that i had lived this before... had i dreamed this... or was this moment the dream... bouncing back and forth in my mind was the exceptional wonder of this time stencil... just how could this be... pinch me as they say... i really want to wake up... i am scared... daddy.. help.. please help.. i am to scared to say anything... take me from here and never bring me back...

as the events flowed through the trace... i new i did not know... no wonder it took me so long to learn to tie my shoe laces... i knew the colors i see around people was not normal.. my mind is kerplunked... hows that spell...smile.. confusion became the stronger of the mix... yet.. yes.. yet.. as the moments flowed there precised direction and unfold as they were as to instruction...i found myself becoming fascinated.. joyful.. safe.. each moment seem a deliver to the promise... a promise fortold... a promise now unfolding... a promise realized... a promise that belonged just to me... my treasure.. mine to keep forever.. it mattered not to me now.. that dumb was a confirm... different was my secret... unusual was my polite...i was safe...i would come out of this... ok....

i enjoyed getting my first plaster cast.. one of many... to many to mention.. the tender touch of the doctor who ever so carefully wrapped the white chalky cloth around my wrist... questioning me every few wraps to insure it was just right.. reassuring me i would be just fine.. 6 weeks from now i would be as good as new.. somehow... i knew what had just happened was special.. it mattered not that my injury would heal.. i trusted his wisdom... what mattered was... i had experienced a treasure...an insight... an understanding i did not yet know what to do with.. but it was all mine... so special it still brings tears to my eyes... even as i write this now...

here is the teach... the mystical mind is given its confirmation in steps.. this experience happened to me just as i was coming to the close of my directive years... it was a celebration in the coming together of my specialness.. my spiritual awareness.. a vivid awareness that i was gifted in a very special way...that i would be sensitive to understanding the world in a much different way... that the symbols of awareness held me to a special bond... confirmed in the ever so powerful and clear deja-vu.. i was anointed to my quest...

do we talk to yourselves in dreams... yes.. we learned a bit about this in the blogger enter....awash in a sea of digits and only a silent whisper... do others talk to us in our dreams... well.. this we will learn...

... be good.. tiandra...

......only a silent whisper

yesterday i wrote a bit about dreams... one of my dreams... i mentioned a few things you want to learn if you are interested in your dreams.. or the dreams of others...

our subconcious minds read symbols... a tree does not pass through our dreams as a word... but rather our relationship to it... what it symbolizes to us... the big weeping willow my be a symbol of mystical enchantment... on the other hand... if when you were young you scampered up into one... fell off and hurt yourself... it would symbolize... caution... or even greater.. depending on the extent of the hurt..

i have a serious fear of bears.... when i was young... my mother and father loved to spend time camping in the rockie mountains of canada... one thing they enjoyed doing was finding bears.. back then.. bears roamed the dumps looking for food.. my father would drive into the dump as close as he could get to them and we would sit in the car and watch... one of my first memories was this big bear being curious about us... as he approched us... my mother began to become aggitated... remember yesterday i mentioned... mothers are our first teachers.... the bear came to her side of the car... my mother started to get somewhat scared... but my father assured her it was all right.. we where safe we were in the car... the bear... then put his paws and body up on the hood of the car.. this was enough to scare the life out of my mother... the big head of the bear right in front of her... only a car windsheild between her and certain death... big smile...

well... the shit hit the fan... and the car took us out of harms way... this is the learn.... the symbols that now move through my dreams when called upon...

when ever i have something that comes into my life that i should be scared off... and take note... bears pass through my dreams... it may be a casual quick blimp... or it may take up the whole dream.. me being chased by a bear.... and not finding a way to get away... but yet the bear never gets me... when i wake up.. i am in a cold sweat... this means it is serious... i am in major trouble... and need to deal with it... get the car in gear and get out of harms way.... very simple when you understand the basics...

yesterday i mentioned the new car that came into my mothers life... now having mentioned my fear of bears... the symbol... we can also see that from this memory... cars are also an important symbol to me... it was the car that delivered us from certain death.. smile.... i mentioned my father yesterday... he gifted... yes.. it was my father who drove the car that delivered us from certain death... smile... and although my mother was none to happy with him for pushing the limits... she was thankful he was the relaxed in charge man he was... nothing scared him...

these are the strong symbols that move through my dreams... if we play the game.. name that bear... i would say.. trouble... name that car... i would say... tool... name my mother... i would say... teacher... name my father.. capable...

this little event.. early in my life... created several important symbols i move through life with... symbols that i talk to myself with in dreams....

so my friends.. the moral of the story is this... if you dream... you love to talk to yourself and you need serious help... there are professionals standing by ready to take your money... just give us your visa number and everything will be alright... big big smile...

before i go... i just want to mention how much i enjoyed my visits yesterday to the photostreams of..... Di P'anna (poetry though a lens) ... m-evolve (spiritual brain tease).... olidaone (life of a tender touch)... mdunham (silent in his gift)... and several new ones i found ... as you may know... i visit a lot of artist... make a lot of comments... it is one of my joys in life... it goes very deep within me...

well... i quess that is enough for today... be good.. tiandra...

......awash in a sea of digits

...so here i am... now..


i have avoided this place for some reason... maybe it is because i am not sure i really want to say anything... the internet is full of digits from so many that one more voice it may not need... none the less... i am here... now..

i had a very interesting dream last night... it has some staying power... it has come across my mind a number of times this morning... and i am not sure what to make of it... i do read dreams... once one gets an understanding of the symbols important to someone... one can read the message.... this is harder to do for ones own dreams... we have a tendency to mix our emotional longings to the slip... which means we jump ahead of the que... or clues... which ever you like..

when ever your mother is in your dreams... well... this can be interesting... mothers are normally our very first teachers... in the case of my dream last night... my mother was the main drift... when i use the word drift... all dreams drift through a string of patterns... which weave a dream tapistry... you can use your imagination to understand this...

my mother was the main drift... she had come back into my fathers life in a big way... he loved her deeply and loved to shower her with gifts... and i do not mean going to the store and buying something special... i mean.. when ever he could give her something she liked... be it praise... attention... conversation... the what have you... he gifted... well in this dream he had gifted her with to many things for me to remember... and what is important to me is... how she responded...

now i will make a mention upfront here... i do not like money... not even a little bit... we do not get along... we put up with each other.. but we do not get along... and this is because i saw what it did to my parents... it enslaved them... my mother died early because of it (53)... it intoxicated her...just like alcohol... my father loved to gift my mother... so he did what ever he could to feed the addiction... i normally keep all these feelings to myself... but in the case of this dream... i am mentioning it..

in the dream.. my mother had realized a new car... a car is normally a symbol in a dream of travel or tool... but not always... it can be an idol symbol... after all...a car is a tool to get from point a to point b... passed that.. it becomes an idol... i am not saying this is bad... we all have our idols... idols are things we believe in.. things we attach to ourselves in a greater way as an extension of ourselves... a classy car.... is an extension of our read... we like classy... may even worship it... in which case... classy reads abound in our life... simple...

in my dream... my mother and her new car... well.. this is interesting... like a tapistry... their are normally many number of focus points which can be studied.. starting with our reaction to what we see... i saw my mother very taken by this... she was more concerned with my read of it... did i like it... and as a good child... i insured she saw my appoval.... when i stop to think about it... this is an important symbol in the dream... approval... my approval on matters... what i chose to approve... i see myself as an approvalist... a professional approval artist...

now i have to hang my head with my hands over my face and wonder.... take some deep breaths and absorb.... just what am i telling myself...

"know your strengths and make them work for you"... windiepink... i coined this little verse when i was studing models... stella van gent was my inspiration for this one... i have expanded it out.. and it is scarlet talk truth... every successful scarlet women knows this and makes it her rule...

well.. i think that is about enough for today... i will post this.. see how comfortable i feel about it... and try not to delete it... this is my habit..

be good... and do as you will.... tiandra.....