......awash in a sea of digits

...so here i am... now..


i have avoided this place for some reason... maybe it is because i am not sure i really want to say anything... the internet is full of digits from so many that one more voice it may not need... none the less... i am here... now..

i had a very interesting dream last night... it has some staying power... it has come across my mind a number of times this morning... and i am not sure what to make of it... i do read dreams... once one gets an understanding of the symbols important to someone... one can read the message.... this is harder to do for ones own dreams... we have a tendency to mix our emotional longings to the slip... which means we jump ahead of the que... or clues... which ever you like..

when ever your mother is in your dreams... well... this can be interesting... mothers are normally our very first teachers... in the case of my dream last night... my mother was the main drift... when i use the word drift... all dreams drift through a string of patterns... which weave a dream tapistry... you can use your imagination to understand this...

my mother was the main drift... she had come back into my fathers life in a big way... he loved her deeply and loved to shower her with gifts... and i do not mean going to the store and buying something special... i mean.. when ever he could give her something she liked... be it praise... attention... conversation... the what have you... he gifted... well in this dream he had gifted her with to many things for me to remember... and what is important to me is... how she responded...

now i will make a mention upfront here... i do not like money... not even a little bit... we do not get along... we put up with each other.. but we do not get along... and this is because i saw what it did to my parents... it enslaved them... my mother died early because of it (53)... it intoxicated her...just like alcohol... my father loved to gift my mother... so he did what ever he could to feed the addiction... i normally keep all these feelings to myself... but in the case of this dream... i am mentioning it..

in the dream.. my mother had realized a new car... a car is normally a symbol in a dream of travel or tool... but not always... it can be an idol symbol... after all...a car is a tool to get from point a to point b... passed that.. it becomes an idol... i am not saying this is bad... we all have our idols... idols are things we believe in.. things we attach to ourselves in a greater way as an extension of ourselves... a classy car.... is an extension of our read... we like classy... may even worship it... in which case... classy reads abound in our life... simple...

in my dream... my mother and her new car... well.. this is interesting... like a tapistry... their are normally many number of focus points which can be studied.. starting with our reaction to what we see... i saw my mother very taken by this... she was more concerned with my read of it... did i like it... and as a good child... i insured she saw my appoval.... when i stop to think about it... this is an important symbol in the dream... approval... my approval on matters... what i chose to approve... i see myself as an approvalist... a professional approval artist...

now i have to hang my head with my hands over my face and wonder.... take some deep breaths and absorb.... just what am i telling myself...

"know your strengths and make them work for you"... windiepink... i coined this little verse when i was studing models... stella van gent was my inspiration for this one... i have expanded it out.. and it is scarlet talk truth... every successful scarlet women knows this and makes it her rule...

well.. i think that is about enough for today... i will post this.. see how comfortable i feel about it... and try not to delete it... this is my habit..

be good... and do as you will.... tiandra.....